We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
