Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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