oh god the rape fog is back!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
