Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
