after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
