and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize