talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
