Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just had sex bonerless
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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