It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think i got beer on your cat.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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