Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
