Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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