You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
