i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
