Sry I called you an 8
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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