Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize