I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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