I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize