We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
