I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
