We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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