i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
