you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
