Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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