I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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