Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
