dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize