think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
