Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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