what if every blade of grass was a penis?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Come on in and take your pants off
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