Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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