I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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