he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
