just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
