I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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