I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
