Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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