I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
