Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
