today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize