3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
