o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
