your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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