did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize