omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
