i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
be right there i have to get my cape
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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