My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
