Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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