I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want her autograph on my taint
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
