someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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