so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize