I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
