It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
