I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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