I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
