Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
