Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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