what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
