How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
