I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
