He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
