For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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