I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
