i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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