I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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