I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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