matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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