He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
