It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
