im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
