direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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