I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
