I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
did i walk over a car last night?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
