Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.

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(253): View more from Washington

DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.

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(571): View more from Virginia

It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack

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(503): View more from Oregon

I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.

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(406): View more from Montana

I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?

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