Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
