we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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