So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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