you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
