I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
