so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
