ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
