I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
