i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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