You don't have asthma, your pregnant
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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