I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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