butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
