They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
